Psalm 109 — The Yeti Version

I hope it is a slow and painful death

Grant the Yeti
3 min readFeb 18


Photo by White Malaki on Unsplash

This one is one of the most vengeful ones I’ve seen. It goes like this: ‘help, I’m innocent, kill then slowly, they deserve it, help!’ I sense something like rage and sadness — definitely mental instability. The author is very clear about the character of God though — he protects the lowest in society. For a reliable translation, see the ESV version.

Say something God, you’re the one I worship!

Evil people are slandering me!

They’re so hateful for no reason!

I gave them nothing but love, and this is how they repay me? That is why I come to you in prayer.

I give them love, and they give me hate. I just don’t get it.

Give them a piece of their own medicine, send some terrible man after them!

I hope their leader is convicted of his crime, and that his prayers are counted against him!

I hope he dies young.

I hope his children don’t have a father and his wife becomes a widow.

I hope his children grow up poor living on the streets.

I hope the tax collector takes everything that he has and strangers steal everything he worked for.

I hope no one is ever again kind to him or his children, who again I hope become fatherless.

I hope he is forgotten forever and no one ever is able to find any record of him ever again.

I hope God does not forgive his father or his mother for what they have done wrong.

I hope they never leave the judgment seat of God and they also be forgotten.

Because this slimy waste of a human sought to murder and pillage the poor and destitute of our society.

He wishes terrible things upon others, so he should receive terrible things. He did not rejoice when other people succeeded, so he should not rejoice — ever!

He was so consumed by the terrible wishes he had for others, so I hope he is eaten alive by something terrible.

I hope it is a slow and painful death he must confront every morning.

For all the people that slander me, I hope this is their God ordained fate.

God, when you look at me, think about your reputation and your loyal love — then rescue me!

I am in a poor situation without many options in need of help!

I am fading into oblivion and thrown to the side like a piece of garbage.

I am so anxious, achy, and malnourished.

The people who slander me look at me with disgust and distain.

God, you’re so loyal and loving — please save me!

Do it in a way that people will know it must be you!

I don’t care if they wish terrible things upon me, I know you will bring me good. They will be proven wrong, and I will be joyful!

As for the people who slander me, I hope their name becomes synonymous with shame and disgrace.

I will keep celebrating you Jesus in front of everyone!

I know you save disenfranchised, slandered, and needy people.



Grant the Yeti

tall. talkative. I write about faith & tech. I podcast about delightful, quirky passions at my thoughts don’t represent my employer.