Psalm 31 — The Yeti Version

I’ll always be thankful for your patient love — you intimately know my pain.

This one is a mix of being in a terrible state of mind and proclaiming good things about how consistent God is based on his personal history with him. This inner dialogue reminds me of Psalm 42, and gives me comfort for the same reason that that one did. For a reliable translation, please see the ESV version.

Jesus, I go to you for protection — please take care of me! You always do the right thing!

Hear me out — help me now! I need some serious defense.

You always are my defense — your reputation is on the line, and you make sure it’s upheld.

You’ve gotten me out of just about everything.

I entrust you with everything I am, Jesus. You’re my hero — the one that brought me out of slavery.

It upsets me when others try to gain favor from powerless gods — I rely on you for everything, Jesus!

I’ll always be thankful for your patient love — you intimately know my pain.

You’ve never abandoned me — instead, you always give me stability.

I need help now though, Jesus! Everything hurts.

All I do is wallow in anxiety and depression — I’ve got nothing left.

I’m such a burden that I’ve noticed people distancing themselves from me.

Nobody cares about me — I’m just a piece of trash.

People who hate me want to kill me when I’m this weak.

But deep down I know I’ll be good since I’m counting on you, Jesus.

You’re orchestrating all of this — get me out of this!

I’d love to see you swoop in right now and demonstrate that patient love!

Don’t let me die alone — let the people who hate me die alone instead!

I hope the prideful jerks slandering believers would lose their ability to speak.

Jesus, I know you keep a special portion of good saved up for people who think you’re awesome and run to you in times of trouble.

You protect them so well they practically disappear off the map!

Jesus is so good because he came through and helped me when I was all alone!

I thought you abandoned me, but I was so wrong — you did hear me asking for help!

Believers everywhere, keep loving Jesus! Stay humble — run from pride.

Stay strong, Jesus will come through!