Psalm 68 — The Yeti Version

And now, let me talk to a jealous mountain for a second

Grant the Yeti
3 min readSep 14, 2021

Being the tenth longest psalm and having a lot of confusing verses, this one was a dozy. King David is kind of all over the place with this one. He talks mostly to God and other people, but he talks to a mountain as well — which is interesting. The symbolic meaning of the upside down kingdom is pretty clear, but still it’s pretty weird for him to talk to it like that. For a reliable translation, please see the ESV version.

Watch — when God decides to act, his enemies will all run.

They’ll be like smoke blowing away in the wind and butter melting with a little heat.

On the other hand, God’s people will be throwing a party.

And there should be a party! One with a lot of singing to the great I AM!

He is the protector of the defenseless!

He gives lonely people a home! He frees the enslaved and punishes the wicked!

God, I remember when you led my people through the wilderness!

It was crazy — there was an earthquake and you caused it to downpour!

The rain was so crucial because it ended a drought and gave us a great harvest.

You provided for us when we needed it — you’re so good!

God often loves to instruct women to announce his victories.

They shout the good news: “The scary bad guys are running away!” Then they get to divide up the treasures that the bad guys left behind.

So while the bad guys are on the run in the wilderness, our women are picking through their finest jewelry.

So let’s hope that while they’re on the run the weather is bad too!

And now, let me talk to a jealous mountain for a second. Mount Bashan, you thought you were God’s favorite because you are magnificent and sprawling.

However, God chose a rather unassuming mountain (Mount Zion) to be his home instead of you. I wonder why this bothers you so much?

You should know that God has limitless power and can be safe in any dwelling place.

God, you’ve overcame the most powerful enemies and earned the respect of everyone including your enemies!

I hope the best for God and his mission — he saves us and keeps us strong.

He is a saving God! He can even save people from death.

But that doesn’t mean he won’t punish evil! He definitely will.

I know this because God told me he will drag every evil person from Mount Bashan and the rest of the world and throw them at our feet

so we can administer justice to them and plunder their goods.

God, the parade we threw for the ark of the covenant was something to behold.

We had people singing in the front and playing music in the back — and women banging tambourines in the middle!

I encouraged every one of your people to hope for the best and celebrate your mission!

And among the few tribes that were there, we put the smallest one up front.

Use your strength, God! It’s been so useful so far.

People are coming from near and far to see your beautiful church.

Protect your people by destroying those who destroy and scatter those who want to start wars.

Important people from our geographic neighbors will come and celebrate you, God!

I hope that everyone on earth will sing beautiful songs about you, God!

From eternity past, you have been orchestrating everything with a powerful hand.

Everyone, please realize and acknowledge how powerful God is! Although he is protecting us here, his strength extends to the edges of this universe.

Isn’t that amazing? He’s truly awesome. And it’s amazing that he keeps us strong. Thank you, God!

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Grant the Yeti

tall. talkative. I write about faith & tech. I podcast about delightful, quirky passions at anchor.fm/grapenutspodcast. my thoughts don’t represent my employer.